Fandom Overload:
Another Look at Anime Conventions

[The following is a segment of a conversation that took place online a few weeks back between me, and Don Tigrr himself, Galen. It is in part a rebuttal to an earlier article written by me, in which I address several things for newbies and vets alike to keep in mind at a Con. That first article was nice, well mannered, and structured; this one is its shotgun-wielding, non-PC bastard cousin. It has a bit of an Anime Weekend Atlanta slant to it, but it can easily apply to just about any convention. This article is not for the faint of heart; not everyone is ready to have their eyes opened. In the words of Galen, Ye have been warned.]

[Comments from Galen are in Brown]
[Comments from me are in Blue]

The Beginning

Couple of things you forgot for the Attending Conventions essay.
That being? 

The Constant

Bathing is a necessity at conventions. You do not want to go out there and share the same nasty 3 or 4 day Funk of the fanboys & geeks of these conventions. If possible, take your own soap and ALWAYS have deodorant and clean clothes to wear!!! 

Fanboy Funk is the universal constant. Everyone talks about it, so I wanted to cover more ground... but yes, very valuable lesson to learn! 

Dealing With Fanboys

Also... make sure to keep conversations with fanboys to a minimum, or else you will find yourself engrossed into a conversation as to why this character can beat up every other character that doesn't relate to said series. Which could possibly last for hours!!!! 

Quite true... converse at your own risk! I hate it when some jackmule son of a bitch automatically thinks I've seen a series and can discuss it at full length. "Yes, Goku can beat up Kenshin, dammit! Goku's a muhfuggin' Saijin, you rube!!" 

WARNING WARNING WARNING!!! Beware of fanboys in costumes of their favorite character. Speaking against these said characters is the same as Blasphemy in their eyes and they will be ready to fight you at the drop of a dime's notice. I should know cause a fanboy almost got his ass kicked by me for being that stupid!!! 

Sidenote: This is one of the only times in life where a chokeslam is considered a proper conversation ender. Remember this. 

You ain't gotta tell me twice. Also beware of fanboys in the video game room. They will annoy the hell out of you while you play the fighting games. One learned a valuable lesson not to do that with me!!!! 

Also, if you bring a woman, she will be hit on. And more than likely, quite badly. 

Even more so if she is in a costume. Also manners have all been thrown out of the window at these same conventions. These fanboys will run over a little child just to get to a dealer's table or somewhere that they are trying to get to in a hurry...and they won't say Excuse Me either!!! 

Sidenote: Sticking out your leg for said rude-ass is not only acceptable, but encouraged 

Dealing with the Mundanes

Normal people at the hotel don't give a rat's ass about you, or who you're supposed to be. 

And believe it or not, some, nay, ALL of them are laughing AT you, and not with you!!! 

Also, that smell? It's you. 

The Art of the Costume

Costumers: Act like you give a damn. You half-ass it, you will be taunted 

Or if you just piece stuff together that looks like you did, you WILL get clowned without question. If you have a problem with it, blame only yourself for coming out of the house looking like that 

More on Costuming

Little kids are cute in various costumes, (Good Looking) Women are a Godsend in skimpy Anime/VG character costumes. Grown men wearing Sailor Scout Costumes should be burned and flogged in Hell for that!!!! 

Old guys in Sailor Scout outfits- yes, you DO look like a pedophile. 

Restate: You ARE a Chester!!!!! 

R. Kelly detests your methods, for they are gaudy and uncivilized in his eyes! 

Thievery

If you steal from a convention and get caught, you are an idiot! 

Security has earned the right to beat you like the crack-filled piñata that you are, with the vigor of a gang Mexican junkies should you get caught. 

Exactly 

A Final Note on Costuming

If your titties are hanging out, we WILL stare at them. End of story. Stop bitching. 

Umm....that's a Freaknik reference dude. 

Con Workers, and More Reasons to Hate Fanboys

Also, if possible, avoid talking to any of the Con Workers. They are 99% morons! If you need info, ask anyone else EXCEPT them. And do not ask about if they gonna show the Hentai cause the answer will be a resounding no cause other fanboy idiots screwed it up for everyone else several years ago!!!! 

Another little side note: If you can get cool with the "Con Security" then you can pretty much get away with anything.... almost.

Reasons Not to Pick a Fight

There are those few people that come to conventions to laugh at how pathetic fanboys and some geeks are. Mostly these people are bigger and smarter than you... and usually run in packs. Do not expect to win a fight against them if you try to start one, cause they will most certainly finish it!!! 

Respect us, and respect will be given back to you. Act a fool, and all bets are off... chances are we won't see you again, so that means no qualms about getting medieval on that booty 

And if you had some good stuff, definitely expect it to get JAK'd!!! 

"We anime thugs, yo! Break yo'self and gimme that ***damn art book, BEYOTCH!" 

Newbies: A Show of Respect

Newbies are people too. We were all newbies at one point, so if someone's only seen DBZ or Pokemon, then have mercy... now, if they're obnoxious with it, the rules are suddenly null and void 

Also, do NOT go into the Dealer's Room expecting to find bootleg stuff. You will be sadly mistaken. If you want the unreleased stuff, you might want to (a) go to a comic book convention such as Dragon*Con or Heroes Con or (b) find some guys that are staying for the convention that have some of the Bootlegged stuff 

And a Final Note for Gamers

If you're staying at a hotel and plan on gaming BRING THE NEEDLE-NOSED PLIERS!!