Freelancers
Presents:
The Post-Chapter Interlude!
Episode 1: What the Hell is Going On?
[A stage is set with a massive video
screen and a desk as a super-deformed Neil Vulto walks out, pointer in hand.]
Neil: OK, for those of you that may be a
little lost with all of the names that we’re throwing out, I’m here to give
you a bit of clarification. Lights!
[There is a long pause in which nothing
happens.]
Neil: Er, Misfara?
Voice off-camera (Misfara): Um, which switch
is it, Neil?
[Neil shrugs.]
Neil: I dunno. Pick one.
[The whole scene suddenly goes black.]
Misfara’s voice: Heh, I guess that’s the
wrong one…
[A massive sweat-drop appears where Neil
was standing on stage. After another pause, the light for the video screen is
cut on, showing a map of Second Realm.]
Neil: Alrighty now, let’s begin. For those
of you that haven’t picked it up yet, this story takes place within the Realmwalkers
time frame. For those of you that aren’t familiar with the Realmwalkers
universe…
[A super-deformed Misfara walks out on
stage and points her finger at the audience.]
Misfara: And shame on you if you’re not!
Neil: … you can catch up with some of the
history and stuff by reading about the adventures of Natalie Firebrand in The
Library. If you’re up to it, then you can read The God of War to get a
bit of an idea what we’re dealing with on this world.
[Video screen flashes to show a
chibi-Wargod with the words ‘Grr!’ written next to him.]
Neil: All that we know, at least at this
point in time, is that this Wargod freak-show appeared in Second Realm not too
long ago and started ransacking things like some bad mofo. It would appear that
he is seeking pieces of the Armor of Magnus of the Light, of which he’s
managed to locate his chest-guard.
Misfara: Oh, and he eats weapons, too.
[Neil stares at Misfara for a moment
before the slide changes to another picture of Wargod, this one more realistic
looking. He is a massive humanoid figure that looks to be made of liquid metal.
A massive blade of some sort protrudes from his left hand, and the chest-guard
of Magnus’s armor is clearly visible on his body.]
Neil: Well, I wouldn’t quite say he eats
them… but he can absorb them into his body, and use them afterwards. Thus far
he’s gotten his hands on several large and pointy objects, along with a few
pulse rifles. And as for the Haven colony…
Misfara: You can read all about Haven in
Natalie’s chapters!
Neil: …Malstron is the only kingdom in
Second Realm that possesses the technology to realmwalk to the Haven colony, and
hence has the final say in who can and cannot go. And since a number of us are
on King Baptiste’s bad side…
Misfara: His bad side? I think he wants to
have you beaten savagely, Neil.
[Neil shrugs nonchalantly.]
Neil: Hey, if the man can’t take a bit of
constructive criticism from one of his own agents…
[As Neil is explaining himself, Misfara
makes a motion for the slide to switch. What pops up next is a short movie,
starting with Neil bent over and pointing his rear towards the camera, a
makeshift paper crown sitting on top of his butt.]
Neil (on camera): Hellooooo! I am your king,
and I am an ass! Look at me! My head is a gigantic ass!!
[The movie continues in the background as
Neil casts a long glance at Misfara, who smiles and waves innocently. The slide
switches again, this time back to the map of Second Realm.]
Neil: Anywho, we shouldn’t have to worry
too much about Wargod. His last sighting was [points to a large landmass to the
west] here in Mahstar, where I believe a large group of Ebon Knights are waiting
to lay some smack upon him. We, on the other hand will be here [points to a
large landmass to the east, the other side of the map] in Hamir Tobei, the city
of Destratos to be exact. Any questions?
[The lights cut back on. A hand raises
from in front of the stage, and we see the back of Drake’s head.]
Drake: Will there be women?
[Neil laughs.]
Neil: Of course they’ll be women! Look at
who’s writing this!
[Another hand raises, and we see Ryogo
standing to his feet.]
Ryugo: Um, so like, what happens now?
Neil: Ha! I can’t tell you now, that’ll
ruin the surprise! You’ll just have to wait and see! On to the next episode!
[Neil walks off of the stage, with
Misfara behind him, who turns and waves at the camera.]
Misfara: See you soon!